Never giving up

I have lost count of the number of times I have joined weight watchers in the last 8 years. I know that I joined for the first time in February of 2007 because we had just gotten back from a cruise and I saw pictures of myself that I was not happy with so I decided to do something about it. I lost 30 pounds in about 9 months and then somehow got off track. Every year since then my weight creeps back up a little more, every now and then I rejoin weight watchers or I use myfitnesspal, I lose a little, then I get distracted again. I weighed myself this morning and I am now 2.4 pounds heavier than I was the first day I walked into a weight watchers meeting. It's time. Again. Weight watchers works. I know it works, I just need to commit to it and stick with it.

House showings

So, we have now had 3 showings for the house in the last week. They are the first 3 showings but I think now that school is out, the people searching for a new house is picking up.  That's great. Really, it is.  But... I hate showings. It's so stressful. You feel like the house has to be beautiful and perfect. It's like getting your house ready for a first date over and over again. My house doesn't like dating.  She'd rather stay in her comfortable, slightly messy and disorganized state.  Then there's the waiting to see if she gets a phone call.  Do they like her enough for a second date? The first people she went on a date with said they wanted a garage. She has a garage, actually she has a carriage house. They could park their car and their horse at the same time.  I know they probably mean a garage that is either attached to the house or right next to it. Not one that they would have to open the gate to pull into.  But, really, how could they not want a place to park their horse in the middle of town. We drove by while they were looking at the house.  They drove a big yellow hummer. I'm not surprised they would want to actually park that in the garage.  They probably don't even have a horse. Oh well, maybe one of the two people that looked at it yesterday will want a second date.

I saw the sign…

When I pulled in the driveway on Wednesday, there it was... the for sale sign in my front yard, right there in the middle.  I thought it would be a feeling of pure joy when I saw it. The beginning of a new future. In reality, it was bitter sweet.  Excitement over the future, mixed in with sadness over what I'll be leaving behind. This is the house my kids have grown up in. Where I sat on the front porch and watched them ride their bikes down the street.  Each year getting further and further away until the year when they rode off with their friends and no longer needed me to sit outside and protect them. Now I watch them get in the car and drive away.  In this house we went from training wheels to car tires. I know that a new house and a new town will bring all new memories and the old ones will never be forgotten but it will definitely be hard to walk away from our home.

Little by little...

I decided on New Years Day (yes, how very cliche of me) that it was time to make a change. I'm not happy with my weight. Haven't been for years. I decided it was time to get myself in gear and start losing the extra weight. So, as New Years resolutions often do, it started out all sunshine and roses and as the weeks and months went by the motivation went away too.  I still wanted to lose weight, I still wanted to make a change, I just wasnt' willing to actually do anything about it.

Well, about 3 weeks ago I decided (again, for only the 100th time) that the weight was not going to magically melt itself away.  I could haul myself in for one of those surgery's but then they stick needles in you and I am completely and totally opposed to that.  So, I will do this the old fashioned way.  I will have small goals, I will celebrate the small losses and I will keep myself motivated along the way.

My stats so far:

Since New Years I have lost 20.5 pounds.  I lost about 16 of it early on and 4.2 lbs I have lost in the last 3 weeks since joining Weight Watchers. It's a good program.  It works. It only works if you actually follow the guidelines of the program. There's a commitment aspect to it and I just need to stay committed. All together, I need to lose about 85 pounds from my starting weight. That's a lot of pounds. Right now I am focused on the 27.4 pounds I need to lose to get to my first goal.  I will get there. I would like to get there before our cruise but I am not focused on that. I will just focus on getting there eventually.

218 days...

I have countdown apps on my phone, yes apps. Not just one. Three. One of them is set to countdown everything moderately important between now and the actual important countdown. My hope was that if I counted down all the small stuff, it would make the time go faster to the big countdown. FYI... it's not working. I just breeze right past those and get to the end. Like reading the last chapter of the book.  Here are the countdowns...

Back to school (not me, the kids) - 52 days
Austin's birthday - 53 days (how is it possible that he will be 16??)
Emilee's birthday - 83 days
Halloween - 110 days (my busy season at work ends, ie the day I can breathe again)
Christmas - 165 days

and the all important one...

Vacation!!!! - 216 days, 16 hours and 18 minutes

That's a long time. I can handle it though. I will just keep obsessing over all the plans and flights and looking at pictures of the ship and beaches. 7 months and 3 days! Just happens that we are leaving on Valentine's Day.  The first time I have been excited about Valentine's Day in 12 years.

Thankfulness

Well, Thanksgiving is almost upon us therefore it is time for a touch of reflection before the chaos and commercialism of the Christmas season really kicks in.

First and foremost, always and forever, I am thankful for my children.  Even when I want to drop them off in the middle of the worlds biggest corn maze and tell them to walk home, I am still thankful that they exist. They are my reason for getting out of bed in the morning. Really, they are. If it weren't for them I could sleep in a lot later but I have to get their lazy butts up for school.

My parents, there really are no words. I could not have asked for a better pair of them. My brother and his wonderful family. The joy of having a close family with no crazies (I am just talking about the immediate family we'll leave the extended family out of that statement) is that they will support your dreams and love you no matter what. It's a beautiful thing.

My doggies, I love them. Even mini-puppy who I threatened with a t-shirt cannon this morning. Someone would be thrilled to catch him instead of a t-shirt at the Tigers game, that's all I'm saying.

My ex-husband. Yes, really. I am thankful for him. Mainly I am thankful that I don't have the stress that so many others do when dealing with their exes. And, let's be honest, the child support makes all the difference in my budget.

My fabulous friends. The sports my son plays often drive me crazy. The time and energy required, however I have come to the realization that every single one of my dearest friends are friends that I have made because of his sports. I wouldn't change that for anything in the world.

This has been a challenging year for some of the people in my life. A very close friend was diagnosed with cancer early in the year, fought through six months of chemo and has come through the other side. He just celebrated his 40th birthday, hopefully he will be coaching for 40 more years.  Our family lost a friend to a tragic accident far too young. I am thankful that his parents spent his 14 years on Earth making every moment count. I learned so much from his passing. Live for the present, make sure your kids know how much you love them and it can happen to anyone. You can watch your kids, try to protect them from any harm and in a split second your world can implode.

This year we will spend Thanksgiving Day with some fantastic friends (yes, from travel ball, would never have met them otherwise). We will spend Thanksgiving Saturday with our incredible family (not just the immediate family, some of the crazies will be there too). And then we will welcome the chaos and commercialism of Christmas.

In the beginning...

So here it is. It's my blog, it's whatever is on my mind that is not appropriate to say out loud. It's all the responses I want to give people on Facebook when I think their posts are moronic. Whatever I think about the events happening in the world around me.

People may agree with me, they may disagree with me. Honestly, I don't care. As a single mom I get tired of talking to the dogs about things that irritate me so read it, don't read it, whatever.  I tend to dwell on things and they swirl around in my head until I write them down. This is where I shall write it down. And so it begins...